Emotional Healing Comes From Feeling: the wound may not be your fault but the healing is your responsibility
Emotions are not meant to be suppressed or ignored; they serve as powerful messengers that guide us towards understanding ourselves and our experiences on the pathway to healing. By allowing ourselves to feel, we embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and healing. If, that is, we are willing to go inwards and spend time with, and dig deeper into the feelings time and time again until we understand what that feeling is really about. What we feel is anger, for example, might be hurt or fear in disguise. It’s our responsibility to nurture the parts of our lives that need love.
Think of difficult feelings or anxiety responses as upset children. Take them by the hand, be gentle and kind, work out the root cause and see what you can do to support the healing process. They likely need support with boundary setting, confidence building, learning new skills, new hobbies. They may need bigger changes, a move perhaps, new environment, new friends, a stronger emotion support system. You wouldn’t ignore an upset child, or get angry with them, or hide them away, so this is not how difficult emotions are handled either. Learning to nurture the parts of ourselves that need development forms the pathway forward.
Throw the idea out the window that you’re going to ‘just get over it’ and ‘keep going’. Or hit the pharmaceuticals, or distract with alcohol. Society is great at teaching us bad ways to bury difficult emotions, but they will pop up again and again later down the line. Shutting down natural resilience and ability to manage normal emotions and everyday stress of life is the issue here. Sure, we all want a quick hit or a fix to get away from anxiety and so forth, however it’s the equivalent of covering up a wall that has rising damp - by avoiding the digging into the foundations to treat the root cause, it’s unfortunately not going to magically remedy itself.
Acknowledging, identifying, expressing, understanding and releasing our emotions in a healthy way releases pent-up or blocked energy and restores balance within. Whether it's joy, sadness, anger, or fear, each emotion holds valuable insights that can lead to personal growth through deep understanding. When we grant ourselves permission to experience and explore these feelings, we create space for healing to occur.
Remember, emotional healing is not an overnight process. It requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to face the discomfort. Being conscious of the problem in the first place is the first step to healing. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide a safe space for you to express yourself authentically. You might try many healing modalities but that’s OK as each one will likely bring you closer to what you need to understand.
Embracing the path of feeling is a courageous choice that leads to emotional liberation. By honouring our emotions and allowing ourselves to fully experience them, we unlock the transformative power of emotional healing, paving the way for a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Below is a an extract from Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk who is known as the father of mindfulness.
‘We need suffering in order to see the path. The origin of suffering, the cessation of suffering, and the path leading to the cessation of suffering are all found in the heart of suffering. If we’re afraid to touch our suffering, we will not be able to realise the path of peace, joy and liberation. Don’t run away. Touch your suffering and embrace it. Make peace with it’
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( n.b. innerness does not substitute for medical advice )
